"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing...

...If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” John 15:5-6

I notoriously run the gas in my car down to fumes before I fill up the tank. This habit has bitten me severely on more than one occasion. Most notably, the day my daughter was born. The day before, I stopped for gas after work. There was some glitch with the debit card reader, so instead of going inside to pay, I got annoyed and left without getting gas. The indicator light was on, but I was certain I could get gas the next morning when my mom and I went shopping for the baby. Oh yes, you know what’s coming!

Sure enough, at 1 a.m. I was in labor. By 4 I thought I’d take a shower to help the pain. At 4:30, my water broke and I knew we were in trouble. With me still soaked from the shower and in crazy pain, we scrambled to car to high-tail it to the hospital. We had a 40-minute drive. Speeding along, my husband realized we had NO gas. Frantically, he stopped, pumped just enough to get us to the hospital and tossed money at the clerk. All the while, I was doing everything I could NOT to have the baby in the car, especially since our 2-year-old son was in the car with us. All I could do was breathe and pray. We pulled in to the emergency entrance at 6 a m. Abby was born at 6:14. It was seriously ridiculous. You would think I’d learn my lesson about filling my tank.

Sometimes that’s how we approach our relationship with Jesus, isn’t it? We go and go, thinking we have everything under control, and wait for the spiritual tank to run on fumes before we stop and pause to refill it. That is such an injustice to Jesus and is so far from the relationship He wants with us.

John’s Gospel records a profound statement from Jesus. In John 15:5, Jesus tells us, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” With Jesus, we will bear much fruit – nourished and flourishing for God’s glory. Without Jesus, as He tells us in verse 6, “If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wither and dry up. That is what can happen with a dry tank.

He is there all the time, ready and willing. To refresh us. Tor revitalize us. To renew our spirit and be a part of us. When we recognize this and begin to understand just how radically life-changing that truth is, we can’t help but want more of Him.

“Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me.” Psalm 35:1

I wasn’t the one under attack, it was my husband. I don’t know about you, but my fleshly, protective instincts kick in much harder when someone I love is being attacked. Even more so than if I’m the one who’s being lashed out against. Its mama bear meets Indian blood and I tell you, it can get to boiling pretty fast.


My husband had weathered this criticism on his character and ability for months. He shared small pieces here and there, but not the full-on assault. A couple weeks ago, he shared more. A lot more. Seriously, I felt my neck heating up and my instinct to defend him kicking in. After all, I’m a writer and much of the attack was written. Surely I could craft a perfectly composed response that would certainly put the accuser in their place, and maybe, take them down a notch or two in the process. This is my man, after all.

Steve knows me all too well. He could sense my wheels turning and cautioned me to leave it alone, he wasn’t nearly as upset over this as me.

This festered in me for days and I don’t know why, but I could not seem to give it up. In a sense, it came to a head that weekend, and Steve again reminded me that he was okay; the attacker was not affecting him. I left alone and drove away, headed to a function.

That’s when it hit. I clearly heard the Lord’s whisper in my spirit. “Don’t you know that I have Steve in the palm of my hand? That this is my plan for him?” I started to defend my actions, “yes, but this…” He interrupted my defense. “Don’t you TRUST me? Am I not big enough to carry him through this? He believes me. You need to also.” Wow. Okay. Boy, when He speaks, there’s no denying it. Father please forgive my disobedience.

Then, the most amazing thing happened. He turned my heart from anger to sadness, showing me the hurt from which the attacker was coming. This person is lost and scared. Attacking others is a defense mechanism that feeds an insecure spirit. It was something only God could do in my heart. I stopped and prayed for this person. And then, I let go of it.

Incredibly, a few days before Steve shared this with me, I felt compelled to study Psalm 35. I couldn’t understand why at the time, but I obeyed. The reason became crystal clear in the car that afternoon. He is big enough for anything we may face. No attack, no circumstance is too big for Him. As He gently reminded me, he has us securely in the palm of His mighty and gracious hand.