“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds” James 1:2

The past couple of weeks have been a test. A test of our strength, endurance and, especially, our faith. My husband was in an accident and really hurt his shoulder. So bad it required surgery to repair.


It was a lot to process and pray over. You see, he makes his living with that arm giving hitting lessons and running a baseball academy. So, not only are we praying for healing, we are praying for provision as well. His recovery will take several months.

I have seen God moving in big ways as we’ve experienced the accident, surgery and transition back home.

Before this happened, Steve was pressing. Firing on all cylinders. Between running the academy for competitive teams, giving private lessons and working as a hunting guide, he was spread pretty thin. I think the devil was at work in the situation, keeping him so busy he barely had time for his family, much less time to focus on God.

Just before he left on this particular guiding trip, we had a talk. As the one who picks up the pieces and tries to keep “everything else” going, I needed more of him. More important, he needs more of him. The Steve who is fun to be around, makes me laugh , loves his kids and is there for his family. All this happens when he is able to relax and refocus after busy days.

Interestingly and concurrently, his academy coaches have been counseling him to spend less time throwing and hitting to the kids, and more time instructing. We talked about this a couple weeks ago while I was reading in the Book of James, so I read him the first few verses. We talked about confirmation of his calling and that even with that realization, there would be many trials.

Can’t you just see God’s hand weaving all this together? With that knowledge, we need to cling wholeheartedly to our faith in Him because the trial isn’t over and it isn’t isolated to Steve alone. This is a family battle and I’ve felt my own flaming arrows.

As I’ve balanced playing Florence Nightengale with Wonder Woman (and failed miserably, I might add), I’ve been driven to my knees. He is the only one who can give me the kind of strength I need to get through this. When it’s the pain talking and not Steve, only He can help me extend the grace that covers. Only He can cause me to pause and pray rather than react and respond as my flesh would have it. Only He can wrap His arms around me in the middle of angst and worry to reassure me that He is in control and is working it all for good. Only He can give me the words of comfort for our children as we pray each night. And only He can take this circumstantial mess called life and polish it to make it shine for His glory.

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

My son wanted to play football so badly it was almost irritating. He pestered us for months about it. For a variety of reasons, he wasn't able to play for the past couple years, when he would have played flag, learned the ropes and determined if he really liked it or not. So this year, at 10, he’s playing tackle.


The first two weeks were brutal. He was afraid. Afraid of getting hit, afraid of hitting, afraid of getting hurt, you name it. There were tears, stomach aches, asthma attacks and more. Every night, he told me he did not want to play. It took every ounce of strength I had not to let him quit.

My husband talked to him about commitments, perseverance and dedication to his team. Steve firmly believes that you do not quit. This is a man who played an entire year of professional baseball with a torn ACL. The guy is tough, and doesn’t give up.

Sadly, I am not so tough. This episode forced me to take a look at a part of my past that I had long forgotten and buried. It was a wound I didn’t even realize I still had. You see, for a long time, I was a quitter and that defective part of my personality tried to resurface to protect my son.

But God. God brought those painful memories back to use them for good. He helped me use the memories to teach Trevor a life lesson that will make him a stronger person and a person who clings to his identity in Christ. When the football issue was at its peak, I had a long talk with Trevor. In that conversation, I painfully recounted examples of how I had quit when things got tough. Even more, we talked about how for a long time, I did not have Jesus to lean on, to help me when times got tough, to ask for strength. It was one of the most vulnerable conversations I’ve had with him. He could see my weakness and regret. But, he could also see how desperately I need Jesus to face the challenges of this life. We found a couple of power verses that I prayed over him that night.

He still doesn’t love football and I’m fairly certain he won’t play again. But, he did not quit and he is learning to declare that he cannot face life’s hurdles without help. Help that comes from the One who can conquer anything. I pray for him before practices and games. He smiles a little when I do. In fact, at tonight’s practice, he did pretty well. When we got home he told me it must have been because of the angels that I had asked to protect him in my pre-practice prayer.

I am realizing that there are some struggles and pain that I have locked away in the dark places of my heart. I need to let Jesus shine His light on them and wash over me so I can release the burden that I still carry from it. He’s forgiven me and wants to take it from me. I need to release it and let Him.