“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:40

Have you ever had an encounter with Jesus? I mean an interaction so powerful you do not know what hit you afterward? It happened to me this weekend and I pray I never forget the feeling. Incredible.


Let me back up and say that a few weeks ago, my kids and I were at a concert and author/pastor Max Lucado was speaking. He asked us to raise our hands as we prayed for children in desperate need of basic things we take for granted like water, food, clothing, shelter and education. As we all closed our eyes and prayed, something happened to my daughter. After the prayer, she asked me if I felt it. “Felt what,” I asked? “Felt God,” she replied. She went on to tell me that when she closed her eyes and lifted her hand, she felt a warmth and the sensation of her hand being held. She said she knew it was God. We left that night and decided we needed a family meeting with Daddy to talk about sponsoring a child. It was a powerful moment for her and we need to respect that.

So this past weekend, I got the opportunity to know what she experienced that night. I was headed to a gymnastics meet and inadvertently took the wrong exit off the highway. As I exited, there he was. An out-of-work man asking for help on the side of the road. I felt a deep tug on my heart. As I reached over and pulled some money out of my wallet, the light turned. I had to be quick. I rolled down the window and slowed towards him. When his hand touched mine to take the money, our eyes met. That’s when it hit – a powerful surge of energy and emotion straight into my heart. I wasn’t looking at a homeless man, I was looking into the face of my savior. As I drove off, I was hit with a wave of tears. It was overwhelming and amazing at the same time.

This verse came to mind almost immediately. I knew in my heart that it was in fact Jesus I had encountered. I know that may not be the case every time, but I do know that there are those times when I definitely feel the tug of the Holy Spirit on my heart and how I respond is important. Sadly, I don’t always do what Jesus commanded. But, knowing how I felt this weekend just might make me a little more attuned to know when I should.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

Last night, we had quite a mess to clean up. When the weather gets colder, mice think my house is a better option than outside, so the critters try and get in out of the cold. Well, our weather turned and a couple mice have found their way in. We’ve been battling with all our weapons and last night, my husband thought he sniffed that unmistakable smell of a dead mouse. As we tried to locate the critter, he moved the refrigerator and eww! No dead mouse, but plenty of messy evidence. Gag. We spent the next 30 minutes cleaning, disinfecting and emptying the trash bag.

On the surface, my house is pretty clean. Cluttered, yes. Steve and I both work full-time and we have two elementary aged children, so clutter is inevitable. But, when we have guests, it looks pretty good. Clean, generally picked up. On the surface, we look pretty good.

Which got me thinking.

How does that analogy resonate with my spirit? Oh, sure. On the surface, I can be the person I want to be. I appear to have it all together. My kids are smart, good students who generally behave well. My husband and I have a good marriage. I have a challenging job with incredible co-workers. I have wonderful friends who encourage and love me. Spiritually, I am growing. My ministry is starting to grow little roots and stems. But boy, sometimes, just below the surface – well, let’s just say it isn’t all pretty.

I wrestle. I wrestle with doubts, fears, insecurities, pride – you name it. Do you? And I fight the urge to try and clean it all up with a neat and tidy bow of perfection so that others won’t think different if they knew what a mess I can be. I can blow up at the kids for the silliest thing. I can get my feelings hurt when Steve says something “the wrong way.” I can feel incredibly insecure when I’m in certain work situations. I can convince myself that accomplishments are mine and not God’s. Oh yes, I can make a big mess just below the surface that sometimes shows its ugly face above the water.

But go deeper. Into my heart. That’s where Jesus lives. And for every “surface issue,” he’s got an answer and a cure. Him. I need to let go and let him. He isn’t requiring me to fix it or clean it up for Him. In fact, he wants to use me in my brokenness. When I admit that I am a broken sinner who cannot make it without Him, He takes that brokenness and repentance and covers it in mercy and forgiveness. And somehow, he can clean up that mess so that it can be used to bring Him glory. I have seen Him do things in my life that leave me speechless. It can only be of Him.

Yes, I am a mess. But, I am not unfixable. And every day, with Jesus, I am making progress. How about you?