“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast,” 1 Peter 5:10.

Next week, I leave for She Speaks conference and I couldn’t be more excited. I am going there with a high level of expectation. God is working big time and it’s incredible to be included! But, as I’ve been preparing my heart and mind for what I know will be a tremendous learning experience, the enemy has been on the attack, seriously on the attack!

Of course, that’s what happens when we commit to being God’s soldiers – he looks for ways to defeat us. He’ll use self-doubt, struggle, illness, and any number of other jabs, stabs and assaults to try and knock us off our mission. Friends I say this because the past couple weeks have been a big-time attack period. I felt inadequate and not good enough to accomplish anything in the “real world of writing.” I got down on myself for not sticking to my workout regimen and not feeling my best physically. I lost motivation. And, to top it off, I was sick as a dog with no diagnosis and no medicine to treat it. For two weeks I suffered without any sleep – spending every night coughing my head off! I was struggling.

And then. A series of three events/communications came my way that were clearly from God. Strong messages that have strengthened and reassured me that I may be under attack, but I will not be defeated.

Last weekend I was preparing for a busy day at the ballfield. My son’s team had two games, so we were going to be there all day. I was assembling our boatload of supplies: coolers of food and drinks, sunscreen, chairs, blankets, etc. Hurrying around, I was also letting little twinges of doubt creep into my thoughts. How did I think I could handle this calling when I can’t even organize a day at the baseball field? Just then, the dogs needed to go out and they need supervision. I hurried them out, hoping they’d take a minute or two to do “their business” and I could get back to my frantic preparations. Not to be. They putzed, so I sat down on the steps. Something told me to relax, breath in the morning air and pause. As I did, two words entered my spirit. “She Speaks.” At that moment, I cried. I thanked God for clearly reaffirming that yes, He has chosen me for something and I am NOT inadequate.

A few days later, I received a message from a dear friend who has an amazing gift of prophecy. She receives and writes messages that she just knows are for specific people. Her message to me was elegant and beautiful – and clearly another affirmation from my Heavenly Father. Among other things, her note said I am richly blessed and beloved. That God has invited me to His table and a seat of honor has been given to me.

Who wouldn’t just melt upon hearing that? I literally dropped to my knees and thanked God. He knows just what we need, when we need it.

The final piece of this intricate puzzle was an email from Lysa TerKeurst, the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries, the organization that puts on She Speaks. The title was “You’re Not the Only One.” It was to reassure those of us preparing to attend the conference that we are all facing trials. Some are struggling with self-doubt, some are stressing over the size of their waistline, some wonder if they are really “good enough” to be called for this purpose. Some, like me, may be struggling with all of these! However, the message was clear. We are all human and struggle with things every day, but Jesus loves us perfectly. His pure, perfect love sees past anything I may consider a flaw. And, by all means, YES, we are absolutely perfect for this calling. God uses everyone who’s willing for His wonderful purpose. That’s all we need to be – willing! Isn’t that a great thought? I don’t need to have the perfect outfit, perfect words or especially perfect abs (thank goodness) to fulfill the call. These are all attacks from the enemy and I’m not taking it and I have told him so!

So, I prepare my heart and mind with a spirit of great expectation and gratitude. I am humbled that God wants to use me for something – to help tell His story. He has a plan and I am a willing and obedient participant. I cannot wait to continue to share this journey and see what He has in store. I’m grateful for everyone who has supported me through prayer, encouragement, kind words and simply by reading my writing. It means the world to me. Blessings and love!

“Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, ‘If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed...’

...Jesus turned and saw her. ‘Take heart, daughter,’ he said, ‘your faith has healed you.’ And the woman was healed from that moment.” Matthew 9:20-22


The past few weeks have been quite tough in the health department. I’ve been sick with an unexplained crud (my term) and have not been able to sleep more than 3-4 hours every night. After about 10 days, I went to the doctor. I left with no diagnosis, but three prescriptions that cost a lot to fill. But, I thought, if they help, so be it. After three days, I didn’t feel any better and was even more frustrated. On the doctor’s referral, I went in for a chest x-ray. Two days later, I was told the x-ray was negative. At this point, I’ve been sick for two and a half weeks. I feel like a zombie and have spent hours crying for relief.

The one thing I haven’t done enough of is pray. Sure, at three in the morning, I’ve begged God to take this from me, to give me sleep, any amount is fine, just let me sleep so I can begin to heal. But true prayer, the kind that rejoices even in the face of trial, prayer that is full of faith and hope that no matter what, God is able to change the circumstances in an instant. That kind of prayer has not been part of the conversation, sadly.

This morning, as I waited for yet another call from the doctor’s office, I was fiddling around on the computer listening to music online. Song after song grabbed at my heart and slowly I realized that I needed to release this frustration that I’ve been holding to and give it to Him. That I need to pray earnestly, asking Him to show me His purpose in this situation. So, I prayed. And, as I prayed, I remembered the comments of friends who have warned me to slow down and rest through this. Friends who have said they were praying for me and for my healing.

Through prayer, I realized that I needed to use this time to draw closer to Him. To see that through faith, He can heal anything, physical or spiritual. And my friends’ prayers for me to slow down really tell me that only by taking the time to spend with Him will I find true healing.