“Moses also said, ‘You will know that it was the LORD when he gives you meat to eat in the evening and all the bread you want in the morning, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we? You are not grumbling against us, but against the LORD.’” Exodus 16:8

I'm an emotional girl. If left unchecked, I have a tendency to jump in the front seat of the roller coaster and go for a spin at warp speed through the ups and downs of life.
 
Honestly, the past year has been a spectacular series of those ups and downs. Sometimes rather than dig in to Scripture and seek out the truth in the situation, I've chosen instead to dig my nails into the world and try to hang on for dear life. All the while, Jesus is standing there with His hands reached out, waiting for me to grab a hold of Him instead of all these other things I reach for. Things I think will bring comfort, security, peace. Things that wouldn't bring any of those, even if I could get my hands on them. 

It's the truth. And, I know it’s the truth. Yet somehow, in those moments when it seems like everything is slipping away, I hit panic mode and listen to the lies the enemy tells me. That without this or that, I won’t make it through. I know better. I really do. I need to learn to get my emotions in check so that I don’t knee-jerk react time after time. Check them so that instead of running to whatever that “thing” is, I fall to my knees and pray.

Through all of this, time and time again, the Lord has stepped in with an encourager. Friends reach out at just the right time. An email arrives with encouragement to get me through another day. Just last week, an anonymous letter arrived that truly stunned me with the generosity and kindness it contained.

The enemy knows what he’s doing though. Because even with the blessing of encouragement, the attacks come. Because the next pitfall is just around the corner. For me, it was yesterday. Another rejection came through. And, sure enough, I fell into the pit face first. Even though I prayed, my prayers were off kilter when they took a turn through the pit of pity. I know God can handle this, I truly do.

I’m reading about Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt. I’ve often wondered how they could get to the place where they questioned God during this time – especially after everything He brought them through. It was so vividly apparent that God was all over the situation. And yet, when the going got tough, they complained.

This time, reading through the story, I thought, I’m just like them. He has been faithful and yet, when another bump appears in the road, I panic, complain or allow fear to take over. I pray for the strength to fend off my own emotional reactions. I pray to become more dependent on Him and less devoted to my emotions.