Thursday, September 27, 2012

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5


Just the title alone screamed at me to open it up and devour it.

Those words suit me to a tee. A tee I’d rather not look like, thank you very much. For years I thought, that’s just how I’m wired. I’m calm to a point and then once I slip beyond “that” place, look out.


My blood boils and my tongue lashes out at whomever it is who’s causing my anger.

Did you catch that?

I rationalized every instance of my own weakness by placing the blame on the person I chose to lash out at. Again, I figured, that’s just how I’m wired and they should know better.

It’s nearly comical. If the results weren’t so damaging. My relationships suffered, especially the ones of those I’m closest to – my husband, parents, kids, even friends on occasion.

God, I don’t want to be like this anymore. 

  • I want calm. I want to be equipped to handle those situations with a grace that can only come from You
  • I desire peace. To face chaotic moments with the realization that no matter what the situation, You are in charge of it and it will work itself out
  • I long for the ability to speak in love. To realize that the person or people who are in this crazy moment with me are not my enemy and that treating them with the love and respect they deserve is the only true response

So, I’m working through a book and online Bible study with about 15,000 of my newest friends. Together, we are studying Lysa TerKeurst’s lastest book, Unglued. We are all imperfect people searching for progress. Imperfect progress, sure. I’ll slip up, I’ll have a moment I’m not proud of. But, I will commit to moving forward and continuing to seek truth and wisdom that only Jesus can provide. And with that, I’ll make Imperfect Progress! And that, is just fine!

There’s a statement in the book that says “I’m not a freak-out woman.” That’s definitely a goal. I pray to get there. And when I do, I want to get a t-shirt that says just that – “I’m Not a Freak-Out Woman.” By the grace of God alone!

If you are interested, it’s not too late to join the study. We’re only in the first week – you can catch up, I promise. Just visit Melissa Taylor’s blog and get involved.

If I can do this, anyone can. Join me?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

“Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” Psalm 68:19

Sitting in the audience, I struggled to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over and stream down my cheeks. As I listened to the message of healing, redemption and hope, all I could think of was how much distance I still have between Jesus and me.

Her illustration was a line drawn between her and God. It looked like a kite tail, long and thin, yet still a lifeline connecting her and her Creator. As she talked, she recounted lies that settled into her heart, creating a division – illustrated by a line crossing the lifeline, putting up a barrier.

Her words pierced my heart, bringing back memories that I hate to recall. Lies I believe about myself. Long ago choices that led to pain, hurt and more lies, that I somehow still believe in the depths of my heart. Barriers that I have created between Jesus and me that prevent me from fully receiving His redemption and grace.


I read the words to Psalm 68:19, “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” As I meditated on them, I realized I don’t put that Scripture into practice. Jesus is there, waiting with open hands, ready to take the burdens and lies away. And still, there are times when I grab on to them so tightly that I’m terrified to let them go.

Again, why?

There is a vulnerability required to work through past hurts and beliefs. There is unresolved pain that needs to be dealt with. There are thought processes that need to be changed. It takes work and dedication and sometimes it’s just easier to stick with the old habits. Not because they are beneficial or right, but because they are comfortable and nonthreatening.

Questions arise like; “if I don’t have these thoughts, what thoughts will I have?” “This is what I’ve believed about myself for so long, what will replace it?” My list goes on.

The talk I listened to gave me hope. The speaker dealt with issues far greater than anything I have had to face. Her struggles were life threatening. And yet, she was able, with the help of Jesus, to overcome and break old bonds that were keeping her from the life she was meant to live. Today, she lives in freedom.

Ah, words that I truly want to learn the meaning of for my own life. And so, I commit to begin my own process of allowing the Lord to daily bear my burdens, instead of bearing them on my own.