I am in a battle and I keep faltering.
Ever since my career was put on hiatus now nearly eighteen month ago, the enemy has used this circumstance in my life as a point of attack.
Which, I know. Which, when my focus is rightfully on Jesus, I can fend off.
Which, when I am at a weak point, the enemy swoops in and fills me with feelings that I’m not good enough. That I’m too old. That my skill set isn’t quite up to par.
All of these things, I know are untrue. But, he is crafty and he uses things like yet another “no” to wreak havoc on both my self confidence and my peace.
When I run, there is about a half-mile section of the route I take that is a gravel and dirt road. It’s not well-traveled, but the cars that do travel it have left tire grooves that have smoothed out the gravel. These grooves are much easier to run in than the rest of the road. To the left or tight just a little, and I’m in the ruts with loose gravel and bad footing. It slows me down and threatens my confidence because this section of the path is at both the beginning and end of my run – so when I’m gearing up and when I’m struggling to finish.
If I stay in the grooves, I’m set. But if I lose focus and shift to the left or right, I’m setting myself up to stumble.
God has been using this part of my run to speak into my heart. He’s reminded me over and over that the path I’m on is the one He had planned for me long ago. He’s provided many blessings during this time. And, He knows what I need, better than I do. I NEED to trust in Him. I need to give up this frustration over my unemployment, lay it at His feet and trust Him.
That’s so much easier said than done – believe me, this I know first-hand.
But His grace is readily available for all of us who ask. Just tonight, while reading through Scripture, I came across a passage I underlined in my Bible a long time ago:
“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13)
I don’t know what’s happening in your life right now, but I definitely needed this beautiful reminder. It’s time to take hold of His hand and cling tightly to it.