...Jesus turned and saw her. ‘Take heart, daughter,’ he said, ‘your faith has healed you.’ And the woman was healed from that moment.” Matthew 9:20-22
The past few weeks have been quite tough in the health department. I’ve been sick with an unexplained crud (my term) and have not been able to sleep more than 3-4 hours every night. After about 10 days, I went to the doctor. I left with no diagnosis, but three prescriptions that cost a lot to fill. But, I thought, if they help, so be it. After three days, I didn’t feel any better and was even more frustrated. On the doctor’s referral, I went in for a chest x-ray. Two days later, I was told the x-ray was negative. At this point, I’ve been sick for two and a half weeks. I feel like a zombie and have spent hours crying for relief.
The one thing I haven’t done enough of is pray. Sure, at three in the morning, I’ve begged God to take this from me, to give me sleep, any amount is fine, just let me sleep so I can begin to heal. But true prayer, the kind that rejoices even in the face of trial, prayer that is full of faith and hope that no matter what, God is able to change the circumstances in an instant. That kind of prayer has not been part of the conversation, sadly.
This morning, as I waited for yet another call from the doctor’s office, I was fiddling around on the computer listening to music online. Song after song grabbed at my heart and slowly I realized that I needed to release this frustration that I’ve been holding to and give it to Him. That I need to pray earnestly, asking Him to show me His purpose in this situation. So, I prayed. And, as I prayed, I remembered the comments of friends who have warned me to slow down and rest through this. Friends who have said they were praying for me and for my healing.
Through prayer, I realized that I needed to use this time to draw closer to Him. To see that through faith, He can heal anything, physical or spiritual. And my friends’ prayers for me to slow down really tell me that only by taking the time to spend with Him will I find true healing.