Have you ever been doing something that you wholeheartedly know is the Lord’s will, only to find yourself feeling pangs of doubt, fear, or perhaps even jealousy or attack? It can make one wonder if they truly are doing God’s will. Let me assure you, you are.
Recently, I’ve experienced every one of these things. I know where God has put me and is using me for His purpose. But, sure enough, the attacks are coming. And, coming full on. When I surrendered everything to Him, He began to unveil avenues where I could be fruitful and glorify Him. One of those roads was in writing. People seemed genuinely blessed by some of the insights He has given and expressed through writing.
Even with this blessing, and the addition of a few doors of opportunity opening, I have experienced doubt and fear pretty regularly. And, lately, even bouts of jealousy and the feeling that I’m under attack.
Jealousy is ugly and I’ve had to confess it as the sin it is and beg Jesus to take it from me. I am genuinely excited about the opportunities that have come along for others, it’s just that nagging voice that whispers, why isn’t that you? Why them? I have had to stop and speak loudly to the enemy to back off.
The flip side to jealousy is doubt and fear. I’ve experienced that, also. When ideas don’t flow the way I hope or want, I can begin to wonder. When something I’ve prayed over time and time again doesn’t seem to change, I can begin to doubt and fear.
In Ephesians 6:12, Paul warns us: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
This is truly a fight that I cannot win on my own – nor was it ever intended that I attempt TO fight it on my own. Short of the armor of God, I am outnumbered, outwitted and destined to fail. However, WITH that armor and the mighty power that is only in the Lord, there is no battle I will lose.
The more we are in God’s will, the more the attacks will come. He’s got me right where He wants me and the enemy hates everything about it. My battles are far from over, but recognizing them for what they are helps take much of the leverage away. I can let go and let God.