Well, talk about being convicted on the spot. Today I did not choose wisely. I allowed a situation at the office get to me, kind of flew off the handle a little, and did a sinful thing in firing off an email to a couple co-workers about it. I “shushed” my inner voice that was telling me to go take a walk, get some coffee, blow off steam – anything. Nope, stubborn Patti overrode the system and had to be heard. Ugh.
Within minutes, I kid you not, a text pops into my phone with these words. “When you allow what someone says or does to upset you, you’re giving away your peace and joy, which is your strength.”
Big long silence on my end. And a big vat of conviction in my belly.
I went to the link and read the entry. Then, I went to my online Bible study to play catch up – missed yesterday and hadn’t checked today’s yet. Oh yea, you know what’s coming. We’re in Philippians and today we’re talking about how we respond to life’s unfairness. What is my response when things don’t go my way? What example am I setting? Again, conviction city. My eyes closed and my head dropped because I knew better.
I stopped on this verse. Philippians 4:5. “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” Oh mercy. The Lord WAS near. He was telling me to let it be, grab some coffee, take a walk and I stomped all over him. Father, please forgive me and my angry reaction.
My takeaway today is that my response is my responsibility. I have a choice in how I respond. That is what sets us as believers apart. Otherwise, how am I any different than a non-believer and why would they want to choose Jesus if I’m the example they’re seeing? My choice today wasn’t the right one. I’ve repented. I’ve definitely learned. And I pray pray pray that the next time I’m faced with a situation where I have this kind of choice again, that I pause, breathe in Jesus and listen for His voice to show me the way.
I want my thoughts to agree with my words and actions. I want with all my heart to make the choices that shine the light of Jesus to the world. My responsibility is bigger than the minor injustices of this life. I know that. I really do. My gracious Lord has forgiven this instance because my heart is full of repentance from it. I’ve asked and received. I do not, however, want to miss the lesson, learn something from it and be a better example the next time. That is my prayer now.